


Lovesong

by Annie_Is_A_Contranym



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 00:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Is_A_Contranym/pseuds/Annie_Is_A_Contranym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two best friends find their way to something more a.k.a Cas and Dean talk about why Dean can't get laid and Cas wonders what he has to do to get Dean to kiss him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter was previously posted as a onshot elsewhere. Will continue and finish here though.

Castiel Novak heard the sound of keys in the door to his apartment and couldn't help the curl of his lips into a smile. His flatmate was yet again returning from a date earlier than anticipated. He had been sharing the two bedroom-one bathroom apartment with Dean Winchester for the past two years; an extension of the three years they'd lived together as college dorm mates. During that time they'd become best friends despite being polar opposites and it had seemed a natural progression to continue sharing a life together since it was highly unlikely that Castiel would find anyone else as comfortable with him as Dean Winchester was or to be as comfortable with anyone as he was with Dean Winchester.

From where he sat on the sofa reading Paradise Lost by John Milton, he couldn't see Dean's entrance as the door was behind him but he could hear the familiar sounds of Dean shrugging out of his jacket and slipping out of his shoes.

"Back already?" he asked without turning around.

"Yeah," came the subdued reply. "It just wasn't working."

Castiel could hear Dean make his way to the kitchen area and the sounds of the refrigerator door opening and closing. It occurred to him that dating hadn't been working for Dean for some time now. For the last six months or so, Dean would head out on a date only to return home early and disappointed. He speculated that it was in fact even longer since Dean had engaged in any partnered sexual activity. This was very out of character for Dean who availed every opportunity to "get laid" as he called it. He wondered what was going on with Dean.

Cas himself was not a very sexual person. He'd had a girlfriend (of sorts) during his second year in college and he did lose his virginity with Meg but that was primarily due to family pressure to meet with social conventions and norms. Castiel just did not feel attraction in the way so many others did. He barely even felt comfortable with people far less lusty towards them; which is why his friendship and current living arrangement with Dean was ideal. He couldn't explain it if anyone ever asked, but he was comfortable enough with Dean that Dean often teased him about respecting personal space.

His sister, Hester, once asked him if he was gay for Dean. Castiel could admit to a fascination with all things Dean but he didn't think there was anything sexual to how he felt. It was clear however that Dean was as heterosexual as they came, considering the numerous conquests Castiel had witnessed over the past five years. His friend could be considered a man-whore if he were inclined to attach such labels to behaviour. He wasn't. He liked Dean for everything that made him "Dean". He liked what they shared. He liked their life.

Dean sauntered into the living area, a beer in one hand. He took a big swig before putting it down on the coffee table. He reached over and pulled the book out of Castiel's hands and proceeded to lay down on the couch, his feet propped up on the armrest at one end and his head in Castiel's lap at the other. Cas sighed and looked down at his friend. Dean was taking note of the book title and then he casually tossed it on the cushion under his legs.

"I was reading that," he complained.

"And now you're not," Dean retorted. "Cheer me up Cas. I'm depressed."

Cas placed one hand on Dean's chest and found the gentle lifting movements of Dean's breathing peaceful. He threaded the fingers of his other hand through Dean's hair and began soft stroking movements against his scalp. Dean sighed as relaxation began to fill him.

"Why are you depressed Dean?" Cas asked. "Is it because you've failed on yet another attempt at romantic connection?"

"Sheesh Cas." Dean rolled his eyes. "Don't hold back there. My ego can take it."

Tilting his head slightly, Cas frowned. He didn't understand what Dean meant. Recognizing that look for exactly what it was, Dean smiled.

"I'm kidding Cas. Don't worry about what I just said. Just keep playing with my hair."

Dean closed his eyes and gave himself up to the soothing sensations. He remembered the first time Cas had done this. He'd had a killer headache the morning after a frat party and Cas had offered to massage his temples to provide relief. It was a bit weird at first but it felt so good that when it changed to Cas playing with his hair and scalp, Dean couldn't find it in him to stop it. It became part of their natural interaction, like Dean fixing Cas's clothes (he could never seem to pull off 'neat') or sharing each other's meals and drinks. Everything about his interaction with Cas was natural and effortless. Dean never had to be anyone or anything other than himself with Cas.

"What's not working with these females you invite out?" Cas asked." Your standard methods to obtain sex have always worked in the past. What's changed?"

The question was sincere. Castiel loved his puzzles and Dean was the biggest puzzle in his life. Why would someone like Dean choose to be friends with someone like him? Why did Dean seem to care so much when most of his family barely remembered his existence? Why was Dean obsessed with his car and with pie? These were questions that had yet to be answered.

Eyes still closed, Dean frowned. He didn't know how to answer that. His methods still worked. The girls were still interested. The problem was with him. He didn't want to bring anyone back to the apartment out of consideration for Cas and yet when he had to opportunity to go home with a woman, he found that he much preferred simply coming home to Cas. Well…coming home….not to Cas, like Cas was his wife or anything. He just preferred this one-on-one time with Cas to some random hookup. Maybe he was getting old or something.

"They're not…"Dean faltered, searching for the right way to express himself. _They're not you_. The thought popped into his head unprompted. He bolted upright with sudden awareness. Swinging his legs down, he turned and retrieved his bottle of beer, taking a big gulp. _What the hell?_ It was not the first time he'd had thoughts along those lines but lately he was finding that they came up with increasing frequency.

Castiel stretched out an arm and began to rub Dean's back.

"They're not …what?" he asked.

Taking another mouthful of beer, Dean resumed his previous position and stared straight up into Castiel's face which was angled down, looking at him.

"They're not what I want."

"Do you know what you want Dean?"

Dean looked into those startling blue eyes that he knew so well. Their gazes locked and both men were trapped in it. It was some time later that the response came, so quiet that Cas almost missed it.

"Yes, I know exactly what I want."

"And…?" prompted Cas.

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Dean closed his eyes and groaned. "Dude, I can't believe I just quoted U2."

"I don't…get that reference."

"No Cas … you don't. There's a lot that you don't get."

"I got you." said Cas. "Perhaps that's enough."

Dean's eyes flew open and searched Cas's face for signs that that statement actually meant what it sounded like. Cas's face was as inscrutable as ever. Dean sighed in resignation.

"Yeah Cas… you’ve definitely got me and perhaps it is."

Castiel who had resumed massaging Dean's scalp, paused his actions and moved his hand down to gently trace the outline of Dean's jaw. He'd always liked Dean's jaw. It was very manly.

Dean waited a moment before asking "Cas, do you think that there's anything I could do that would freak you out?"

"No."

"What if I killed a man? Would that freak you out?"

Castiel's didn't even hesitate. "No."

"What if I held orgies in the apartment 24/7?"

"No." He continued to trace patterns with his fingertips on Dean's face.

"What if I announced I was into guys?"

"That would not concern me." He lightly dragged his finger pads over Dean's closed eyes.

"What if I kissed you?"

Castiel's hand stilled and then left Dean's face. Dean kept his eyes closed, afraid of what he might see on Cas's face if he opened them.

"Dean." Castiel's voice was hushed but urgent.

Dean still kept his eyes closed. Dammit! Why did he always have to open his mouth and ruin things?

"Dean, open your eyes and look at me."

_Shit!_ Dean thought. He reluctantly opened one eye first and seeing no sign of distaste on Cas's face, he opened the other.

Castiel looked dead serious as he stared down into Dean's eyes.

"Dean, the only thing you could ever do that would freak me out is to exclude me from your life after becoming such an essential part of mine."

Dean was sure his heart stuttered. He lifted a hand and cupped Castiel's face. If Cas were a chick, he'd have probably leaned into the caress but Cas being Cas just maintained his intense eye contact with Dean.

"That…Will…Never…Happen."

Dean was absolutely positive of that. A sense of contentment washed over him and he pulled his hand back and once again closed his eyes. After about a minute, he felt Cas reach across and retrieve his book. Castiel started reading once more as he continued to play with Dean's hair. Dean realised that he was happy.

As Dean was beginning to drift off, he heard Cas's shy question.

"Are you planning on kissing me Dean? I'd like to be prepared if this is… at all… a possibility."

"Just read your book Cas."

"Ok."

Dean grinned. It seemed that he had in fact found what he was looking for.

 


	2. You Found Me

_"What if I kissed you?"_

It was approximately six weeks, five days and seventeen hours since Castiel had heard those words. Six weeks, five days and seventeen hours of an awareness that was beginning to border on obsession.  Unthinkingly his fingers drifted up to press softly against his dry, chapped and very unkissed lips. For the thousandth time since his roommate had uttered those words, Cas considered the possibility of being kissed by Dean and struggled with the idea that there was a very real sense of yearning buried inside him to see it through to reality.

Frustrated, he slammed his desk drawer shut a little harder than was his style and immediately contrite that he may have disturbed someone, he stood up in his cubicle and apologized to the colleagues around him.  One of the good things about working as a programmer for a software firm was that he wasn’t often required to interact with people. In fact after 18 months of sitting at the same desk daily, Castiel was only on friendly terms with two individuals at the company – a redheaded lesbian named Charlie and an overly tall and lean Englishman called Balthazar.

Sitting back down, Castiel propped his elbows up on his desk and lowered his face into his hands. This fixation on being kissed by Dean was very distracting.  Who knew that you could want something so badly without ever knowing you wanted it whilst telling yourself you shouldn’t want it.

“Hey Novak, come take a cigarette break with me.”

Cas lifted his head to find Balthazar standing next to his chair.

“I do not engage in such habits Balthazar,” he responded. “You know this. I’ve indicated as such every time you’ve asked me to join you.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes. Castiel could be quite dense at times.

“Get off your arse Novak and join me outside.  There’ll be no smoking involved.”

Castiel looked puzzled. “Then why..”

“Just come already!”

In the adjacent cubicle, someone snickered. “That’s what she said!”

“Shut up Charlie!” Both men responded simultaneously before heading outside.

They sat a picnic table on a grassed area next to the parking lot.  Balthazar pulled out two cigarettes from his pack and passed one to Cas who looked at him questioningly.

“Just in case people walking by are wondering what we’re up to,” he explained. “We’re not going to light up, we’re just going to roll them between our fingers.”

Looking intently at the stick of tobacco between his fingers, Castiel practiced the art of holding it correctly. Balthazar just shook his head at his friend.

It was a nice summer day. The few clouds dotting the blue sky only served to emphasize the vivid shade. Cas could feel the gentle burn of the sun on his forearms and face. It warmed him outward in.  He mentioned this to Balthazar who simply looked at him like he was going crazy.

“What?” he asked. The expression on Balthazar’s face had him feeling awkward.

Balthazar didn’t answer the query but posed one of his own.

“Do you remember the ice cream you had a couple days ago?  It was a new flavour…I don’t remember what it was …”

Castiel broke into a grin at the memory.

“Yes, it was Coconut Raisin and I loved it even though it was unusual. The collocation of the different flavours and textures…I could feel the coconut bits hard against my tongue but at the same time enjoy the soft squishiness of the raisins and the combination of the hard, soft and creamy as I swallowed was delightful. We should go by there for some more...”

Castiel stopped rambling when he realised his friend was about to burst out in a fit of giggles. Affronted he stood up suddenly. He placed the cigarette he’d been holding in front of Balthazar and announced “I’m going back inside.”

Balthazar grabbed his hand and motioned for him to sit back down,

“Sorry Castiel,” he apologized. “I was just trying to make a point in a very round about manner.”

Castiel tilted his head sideways in his should-be-trademarked-confused-look.

“Obviously way too round about,” muttered Balthazar.

“Cassy, the thing is, over the past few weeks, you’ve suddenly become aware. I mean “aware” aware.”

Balthazar paused but there was still no sign of understanding on Castiel’s face.  Sighing, he continued.

“Ever since you had that conversation with Dean that you told me about, you’ve become aware of yourself. Before then, it seemed that you lived in your own world. You didn’t do feelings, or pleasure, or enjoyment. You never even wanted to try anything new because there was no need to, you said. All your needs were being met, you said. Now, you seem to be aware of sensation, of taste, of what you like and not only that, you suddenly seem to want things.”

Castiel considered Balthazar’s word and could see the truth in them. Honestly, it felt as if Dean planted a seed in his mind and it took root and that physical awareness was blossoming throughout his body.

After Dean mentioned kissing him, it was as if his entire body had been on alert, waiting for the kiss, not wanting it to be anything less than a positive experience for Dean. Dean deserved positive experiences. But Dean hadn’t kissed him. What he’d done instead was significantly more impactful.  Dean had artfully and rather sneakily introduced him to a world of sensuality.

“ _Taste this Cas,” Dean had prompted as he held the spoon up to Castiel’s lips. Castiel did as he was told._

_“Now close your eyes and tell me what you’re experiencing”_

_Eyes closed, Cas considered the moment.  “Warmth; as it slides down my throat, I feel warmth. I can taste the natural sweetness of the fruit. It’s not over powered by the added sugar. I can taste that too. It’s a different type of sweet.”_

_“And?” Dean prompted._

_“And I can taste crushed pecans in the pie crust. The nutty flavour is subtle but it makes it better.”_

_“And? What about the textures?” Again Dean prompted._

_“Hmm...” Cas thought about it. “The filling is smooth and coats  my tongue and the crust starts firm but almost seems to melt in my mouth.”_

_Dean had laughed out loud at the last bit of description. Cas opened his eyes to find Dean gazing at him with a little smile. Then slowly, so slowly that Castiel could not help but be aware of the movement, Dean brushed his thumb gently across the corner of Cas’s lips.”_

_“You…umm…have a little something…” Dean had mumbled and Cas thought he’d sounded nervous.  His eyes darted to Dean’s thumb to find a bit of filling on it and then they followed the movement of that thumb as Dean pulled it back to his own lips where he sucked the sweetness off of it._

_Those pink lips had mesmerized Castiel. He held his stare long after Dean had removed his finger. It was the movement in Dean’s throat, his swallowing hard, that had caused Cas’s eyes to fly up to Dean’s.  Dean was watching him intently as if waiting for a reaction. Cas gave one. Embarrassed he’d turned bright red and fled to bathroom, mumbling some incoherent excuse.  Later on that evening when he’d come out to watch TV with Dean, it had been like the incident had never happened. He’d been grateful for that back then._

Looking back, Castiel could recall many similar instances. Dean getting him a new shirt and asking about how it sat on his skin and if he liked the feel of it; Dean asking Cas to press his nose into Dean’s hair, breath in deeply and give an opinion of a new shampoo he was trying or Dean taking him to places like pubs or movies where Dean would have no choice but to press his lips against Cas’s ear in order to speak or whisper to him and Cas would have no choice but to be very aware of the pink plump softness brushing against his newly sensitive lobes.

Dean had also taken to bringing home flowers. He never gave them directly to Castiel but would place them on the kitchen counter and ask Cas to put them in water – a task Castiel found he enjoyed immensely.  When he cooked, Castiel realised, Dean was preparing dishes that Cas had a marked preference for. And it suddenly occurred to him that every evening ended with them on the couch with Dean either lying in his lap or Cas pressed up against Dean’s side with Dean’s arm draped across his shoulders.

As he sat at a picnic table next to his company’s parking lot on a warm summer day, across from his one male friend apart from Dean, comprehension flooded Castiel like a tsunami barreling through an island in the Pacific, hard, fast and devastating.   All this time that he’d been consumed by the implied potential of a kiss, that he’d been preoccupied by the physical juxtaposition of the orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction between two human individuals _, had Dean been sending him metaphoric kisses all along_?

Castiel was stunned. Was Dean courting him? Evidentiary data suggested exactly that! If Dean was in fact engaging in a subtle strategy of courtship designed to erode Cas’s well known hang ups, what was Cas supposed to do with that? Castiel was always honest so he knew he wanted to explore a more profound bond with Dean. How did he go about doing that? Should he wait for Dean to work his way up to it? Should _he_ initiate greater intimacy? What if he did and Dean wanted more than he was ready to give? He still didn’t feel particularly lustful but damn if he didn’t want that kiss. At this point Cas felt like he’d earned the damn thing. He sighed. He simply did not know how to do this.

Balthazar had been sitting quietly across from Castiel, watching the multitude of expressions flit across his friend’s face as his friend finally…. _finally_ …got a clue. Taking pity on the adorable geek with the biggest heart and the rustiest set of people skills he’d ever come across, he leaned over and patted Castiel on the arm.

Castiel looked up to meet his eyes. Smiling, Balthazar offered a plan of attack.

“ _Oh for heaven’s sake Cassy_ ….kiss him already!”


	3. This Kiss! This Kiss!

Six weeks, five days and twenty-three frustrating hours; that’s how long it had been since Dean was battling this demon of a courtship. Six weeks, five days and twenty-three hours of constant arousal and longing. He didn’t know how he’d been surviving this. If it were anyone else, he’d have had them in bed already or he’d have kissed them goodbye.  As he slowed his precious Baby to a stop at the red light, Dean smiled to himself. This wasn’t anybody else though. This was Cas and Cas was special. There could be no rushing things, no scaring him into being uncomfortable because next to his little brother Sammy, Cas was the most important person in his life. There was no way in hell that he was going to screw this up. Well…not intentionally or through lack of effort anyway.

Dean did a quick run through of all the things he’d done over the past few weeks to urge Cas to seeing him…to seeing _them_ in a different light. He’d known things with Cas would have go slowly. Cas wasn’t like other guys all impatience and over active hormones. For that matter Cas wasn’t like girls either, all romance and overactive emotions. Cas had never seemed to have much of sex drive but he wasn’t clingy or starry-eyed. Two weeks into his campaign to win the heart of his best friend, he’d run into Meg Master’s, Cas’s ex at the grocery store.

“So Winchester? You get into his pants yet or am I still the lone title holder here?”

Meg Masters was an annoying bitch in the best of times. Dean had ignored the comment and was about to walk away when she held his arm, yanking him back to her.

“Hang on there, cowboy.”  She’d pulled him close and then took a breath before continuing.

“Look, I know we were never close and all that but I …ummm…care for the stupid unicorn. He was the only guy to ever treat me right, you know? I want him to be happy. He deserves happy and I think the only person on the planet who truly gets him is…well…is you dumbass.”

Dean had been floored. Okay so maybe Meg Masters truly did care for Cas. That earned her some brownie points in his books. He’d nodded and smiled at her. She returned a hesitant smile.

“I’ll give you a tip Dean,” she’d said, “and you’d be a blockhead to not explore it.”

Meg had waited for Dean to say something but he’d remained silent, not giving any of his feelings away.

“Clarence, which is the only pet name he let me call him by the way, since he doesn’t like Cassy and I refused to call him Cas like you do….wanted him to be absolutely sure which one of us he was with and all that..”

“Get to the point Meg,” Dean growled, on edge wondering what she was going to tell him.

“The point is Dean…he’s different. He’s not into the sexy times. At first I thought it was because he’d been creaming his pants privately for you but then I realized that as much as he’s into you, it wasn’t that.”

Well that had got his attention. He’d noticed Cas’s disinterest in most things sexual for years but never paid much attention until now, when he was hoping to ignite some sparks between them.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Cas has never been much of a sexual creature, you know? And for a while I thought he was asexual but then there was a period when we’d connected on an emotional level and we were able to…well I’d usually say ‘do the nasty’ but with him it was anything but nasty. It was fucking divine – no pun intended.”

The expression on Dean’s face must have been priceless because she’d taken one look at him and burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it though. It had never crossed his mind.

“So you think Cas is Ace?” he’d asked. ‘Ace’ being short for asexual.

Meg rolled her eyes.

“No you big ape. Pay attention.  I think Cas falls somewhere between sexual and asexual. I looked it up and he could possibly be a demisexual.”

“What the fuck is that? You’re either into sex or you’re not.”

“Damn, you really are dense aren’t you? Read a fucking book once in a while douchebag.”

She looked like she was going to say more but then changed her mind.

“You know what? Forget it. I planted the seed. If you care for him, you nurture it. If not, you don’t deserve him.”  And with that, she gripped her cart tight and wheeled it away.

Dean had cared enough. He left his grocery cart right there in the aisle and headed over to the local library where he got the kind of education that they should be teaching in school but didn’t. There was a fair bit of information that he didn’t quite get but the one thing he could understand and that he clung to like a lifeboat stranded in an ocean of uncertainty was that generally demisexuals are not usually sexually attracted to anyone of any gender but, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (and that can be through feelings of romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners”.

He and Cas were deeply connected so if Cas was in fact demisexual, then _‘they’_ could work. Hell even if Cas was completely asexual, he’d find a way to make it work. Cas was worth it.

The loud blaring of several car horns behind him startled Dean out of his musings and alerted him that the light had changed to green. He signaled an apology to the cars behind him as he drove off slowly but he was smiling. Cas was definitely worth it and he was probably waiting from him at home. Dean smile broke into a grin as he thought “The Boy Is Mine”.

Back at the apartment, the mood was set for romance.  There was the smooth jazz beats of something by Sade on the cd player, the lights were dimmed, candles were lit and Cas was dressed as if he was going on a date with a pair of dark trousers, a blue long sleeved shirt that matched his eyes and he’d tried to tame his hair but only succeeded in making it look like an over enthusiastic lover had pulled it in too many different directions whilst in the throes of passion.

Standing in the living room, he looked down at the petite woman in front of him, her eyes shining with promise and the slight hitch of her lips offering mischief.  Cas felt a wave of panic wash over him.

“This isn’t going to work. I’m sorry”

She laughed out loud and lifted on hand to pat his chest.

“Whoa there, big boy, this is perfect. This place screams romance and your Dean is going to be on his knees in no time flat.”

“Charlie,” Cas growled. “I didn’t want to scream anything and I don’t want Dean on his knees. I just want to find out what it would be like to kiss him.”

“Listen up buddy,” She poked his chest with a hard finger. “You asked for my help in this, and I cancelled my date with Gilda so there is no backing down now.”  Using her finger to punctuate each word with a jab to Cas’s chest, she said, “You. Are. Doing. This!”

Cas sighed.  “I am,” he whispered.

“I am.” He repeated with a little more conviction.

Then he looked at Charlie with a look of pure terror. “I am aren’t I?”

She broke out laughing and wrapped her arms around Cas. Cas did not return the hug but he let her hold him. It was oddly reassuring. She pulled back to look up at him, holding on to his upper arms with both her hands, grinning up at him. Cas bent his own arms to clasp hers at the elbows and looking down, he returned her smile warmly.

That’s when Dean walked in.

In a single glance he took in the two of them standing there holding each other with these ridiculous smiles on their faces, the dimmed lights, the lit candles around the room, the fact the Cas was more dressed up than Dean had seen him bee in who knows how long and ….wait a second was that Sade he was hearing? Cas was playing make out music for some ginger chick? Looking back at the couple, he could see that they both looked guilty as if they’d been caught out in some secret. And Dean supposed they had.

“Sonnuvabitch.” He said softly. Dean spun on his heels and exited the apartment, slamming the door hard behind him. His heart felt damaged and he didn’t remember how he made to his car, the throbbing behind his ears not subsiding until he’d locked himself inside. 

There was nobody on Parking level P2, Section D to hear his angry frustrated scream.

“Sonnuvabitch!!!”

Bracing his arms on the steering wheel, he lowered his head, resting his forehead against them.  The burning feeling of tears threatening to fall had him scrunching his eyes shut tight.  He had no idea how long he stayed like that. It took the sound of someone tapping on the passenger side window to bring him back to awareness.

Rolling his head to the side, he opened one eye to see Cas standing there signaling that he should unlock the car. He rolled his head back to its prior position and contemplated for a second or two before  moving one hand down to hit the auto-unlock button and then reposition it back on the steering wheel. He felt Cas open the door and the then the car shifted as Cas got in. He heard bottles clink and he peeked to see that Cas was holding two beers between them. He closed his eyes and then heard the door shut.

Cas nudged him with one of the beers and he took it. Dean sat upright and gulped down a mouthful of beer but he did not look at Cas but instead took an extraordinary interest in the painted numbers on the wall in front of the car that marked his assigned parking spot.  Cas too began to study the numbers with Dean. Both men said nothing but drank their beer in silence, together but alone with their thoughts.

Finally Cas cleared his throat.

“It was for you. “

Dean heard the words but his brain refused to make sense of them. What was for him? He came home to find Cas on a date with some random chick…okay she was a little hot in a badass kind of way, but he’d been working his way to Cas with such steady determination that it never occurred to him that Cas was seeing someone.  Cas had never said! Besides, he’d seen the way Cas had been looking at him, been looking at his mouth, as if any second now he was going to lean over and claim Dean’s lips as his very own piece of paradise. Dean knew desire. He’d seen enough of it direct his way. He knew something was happening between them.

He said nothing to Cas but continued staring straight ahead.

“Dean I just wanted my kiss.”

Dean’s heart froze. He swung his head around to look at Cas who was still looking at the wall.

“You mentioned kissing me and it seemed like we were headed there but then you wouldn’t kiss me, so I thought I’d initiate things but I was scared. So Charlie said she’d help me set the mood. She guaranteed that you’d want to kiss me or at the very least let me kiss you but then you came home and stormed out and I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore.

“You want to kiss me?” Dean couldn’t get past that nugget. In fact he’d not heard anything else Cas might have said.

Cas turned to look at Dean.  “Of course I do Dean. I love you. I just don’t know how to go about this and I was hoping you’d take the lead, but”

“No.” Dean interrupted. “No buts. I love you Cas. God how I love you; now come over here and let me show you.”

Both men leaned in towards each other. Dean brought a hand up to cup Cas’s face and Cas wasn’t sure if the goose bumps he was experiencing were from the beer-bottle-condensation-cold fingertips or from the zing of anticipation. Dean’s heart was racing and his lips were trembling. Never in the history of kisses had a kiss been as important at this.

Their eyes were locked on each other and then so close that Cas could feel Dean’s breath on his lips, Dean asked, “You gonna close your eyes?”

“Not when I can keep looking at you Dean” came the gravelly response. Something flared deep inside Dean and tightening the grip of his fingertips on Cas’s cheek and jaw, he sealed his lips to Cas.

The half drunk bottles of beer spilled heedlessly on the floor, the windows steamed up and it would be sometime later before they made their way back to the apartment, the clothes rumpled, their hair mussed and their eyes alight with laughter. They both knew they had their work cut out for them to make this relationship work but with true love, everything is possible and when you think about it, their coming together was almost like a lovesong.

 

 


End file.
